So, I am heading to Gillette Sadium today for a 12 our long day in the sun. Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lampert, and Montgomery Gentry!

So excited! It's been an anual event with my family for a while now! Last year We got to see Kenny Chesney & Leann Rimes out in the parking lot up close, because they played on the little radio-stage before the big concert inside the gates. I think they did this because Kenny was promoting his newly-aired Satellite radio station. BUt it was still awesome! I also got Leann Rimes's Signature!

But even though that was Carazzy last year, I still can expect something big to happen this year. Because, well, I don't know how he does it, but every year with Kenny is something new and big and explosive. He is a great performer even if you don't like country music. A day of country music concert is some crazy shit. (AND I AM A METAL-HEAD WHO LIKES PSYCHOPATHIC RECORDS TOO) ... but I enjoy all types of music, except Celtic music....

It is also beautiful out and I cannot wait to sit in the sun. One change this year: I usually bring someone to share the great day with, but this year it is only me and my family. This is still okay and we are going to have a great time :)

Lazy, Waste of... I don't know...

I am a State worker this summer. Full Time job this summer; great pay, no boss, lousy co-workers. Honestly. I am not some typical lazy-ass guy who expects goodness and rewards to appear at my feet like some Greek God. I enjoy working hard with schoolwork, jobs and relationships; I like to purchase my own materials and personal entertainment because it makes me feel better about the product and myself. I feel accomplished. I feel like I and GrOwInG into what I'd LiKe tOooooo ... become.

At my job, for example, as a department they don't ask you to do much. And to be honest 40 hours a week is a long time to "not be doing much". But we, as workers, can certainly make the best of it. While I prefer to take action with DOING my job and being curious, these pack of local lazys would rather sit around with their hands... well.

Typical State Workers.
Who am I though?
And I know I will be surrounded by people I disagree with my whole life. It is just sad to see so many people who take life for granted. And don't understand how life is too short to bitch about the small stuff. Take a chane! Step out of your boundaries! Do something illegal (safely)...! you know what I mean...
Seriously, if you're going camping and a site next to you at 1 am is being a little too loud for you to be able to go to sleep- instead of bitching at the main office about it,
get your lazy fit-to-schedule ass up and go have a drink with the site!
This is all to be taken literal AND metaphorical!
Don't be lazy!.. too much.
Work hard at your job, even if it is easy!
Do more than what is expected of you!
Reach for dreams that people around you veiw as impossible to achieve.
Life is too short.
Don't be my lazy co-worker.
Be my inspiration.

Weather, Hopes, and Mood Swings

When I wake up in the morning, on a day like today, I have doubts.

Let's take a step back. I work as a full time park ranger during the midnight to eight a.m. shift. I don't sleep, I consider my "sleep" to be lousy fucking naps (excuse my ENGLISH, because I don't know how to speak french). And why do people say, "Excuse my french?" when they want their purposely spoken obscenities to be pardoned? Sorry, I am getting off track...

So, I am a park ranger, I watch the sunrise of every morning at around 5:30 a.m.; that is, if the sun decides to come up. That event has been quite rare this summer here in Rhode Island. Not to be a downer in anything, but I am the type of person who prepares for the worst and hopes for the best, that way I am never FULLY disappointed. So this weather thing, the sun, the shitty summer of 2009 here in New England, what can this be a metaphor of? well, this has been proably one of the hardest years for me in a while. Classes were disappointing, relationships seemed to never go my way, and that damn weather in general.

Here's my point. When you wake up on a day like today, and the newspaper SAYS it is going to be sunny with a high of 88 degrees Fahrenheit, but you look outside and it looks like Sleepy Hollow, what hope are you supposed to have? What worst are you supposed to prepare for? Do I follow my original plans and go to the beach?
... decisions, decisions...
The world has no room for indecisiveness, and the weather points that out. Make a decision.
Such is life.

was it the Ziti, or love?

I talked things through and now I have a stomach ache. It aches both because I ate too much macaroni and because of the hurt I felt from trying to clear things up. Anyways, this particular conversation started off light and pleasant... it ended pleasant also, but its climax was the opposite adjective.But the hurt was worth it. Some things were hard to talk about because it was either a sensitive subject or one of us is too goddamn stubborn to understand. But what is love?

The day is dark and the air is thick. The white clouds hang over me on a string. Depressed; I know, but I don’t know why and I haven’t slept well in days. I’m stuck in the middle of a fantastic relationship and I cannot pinpoint where my happiness is. Herself and her shadow collapse over me with a love that I do not fully appreciate. I sometimes don’t want to feel it, but I know it is there. The night is still dark and those clouds hypnotize me from my train of thought. I need to figure this out. I might concentrate more in a white room but I’d probably go crazy. She loves me.
She loves me too much and I think I’m just scared. I can’t handle that much love… I can’t handle much of anything. I am so internally unstable. I can barely answer these questions. Maybe I’m just being too philosophical. I’ll look at this from a realistic, logical standpoint.
~She loves me. And I can’t handle it. That’s it. She loves me, and I CAN’T handle it… or can I…?